Woman, Behold Your Son; Behold Your Mother: The Third Word from the Cross (John 19:25–27)

I delivered this message at Spring Creek Bible Church on February 11, 2018, as part of The Seven Last Words of Christ series.

Prefer what I actually said? Read the transcript (lightly edited for readability).

“Woman, Behold Your Son; [John,] Behold Your Mother”

Introduction

Text

We’re looking tonight at the third word of Christ from the cross, which is often referred to as “the word of affection.” Our text is John 19:25–27. Turn there in your Bibles, and let’s read it together. Depending on which version you’re using, you might see v. 25 starting in a different place.

25 Near the cross of Jesus stood his mother, his mother’s sister, Mary the wife of Clopas, and Mary Magdalene. 26 When Jesus saw his mother there, and the disciple whom he loved standing nearby, he said to her, “Woman, here is your son [γύναι, ἴδε ὁ υἱός σου],” 27 and to the disciple, “Here is your mother [ἴδε ἡ μήτηρ σου].” From that time on, this disciple took her into his home.

Prayer

Let’s pray together.

Father in heaven, thank you for this text and for the glimpse this gives us into our Savior in his final hours. We know that every part of Scripture is the product of your divine breath and has been designed by you for our growth and edification. And so we pray that you would accomplish your purposes in our minds and hearts and lives tonight through this text. Show us more of our Savior and cause us to respond in worship, devotion, gratitude, and obedience. In Jesus’ name we pray. Amen.

When Pastor Steve first asked me if I’d speak on this text, to be honest I was a little disappointed.

1. I’ve previously spoken on the fourth and sixth words, so I’d not get to reuse any of my prior study and excess material.
2. Of all seven words of Christ, this one seemed on the surface the least interesting and theologically rich. I’m drawn naturally to the doctrinal and exhortational portions of Scripture.
3. And, finally, I wasn’t sure there was enough to say to occupy 30–40 minutes.

After several weeks of study and meditation, I’ve come to see that there’s a richness in our text that I didn’t originally see. If I’d been given one of the statements I’d already spoken on, I would have missed this rich study. So, thank you, Pastor Steve. Now, instead of being concerned about not having enough to say, I’m concerned I won’t be able to get through it all in 40 minutes. :)

Transition: There are three parts to my message.

1. First, we’ll consider the context and setting and make sure we understand the time, place, and people involved.
2. Second, we’ll consider the story itself.
3. Finally, we’ll turn to consider the purpose of this text: why it’s in Scripture and what God’s design is for us in it.

Part 1: Context and Setting

So let’s dig in to the context and setting and set the stage for understanding our passage.

We’ll look at three things:

1. Temporal context: When did this happen? What happened before it and after it?
2. Textual context: How did this fit in John’s retelling of Jesus final hours? What does he record before it and after it?
3. Characters: Who are the people involved in the story?

Temporal Context

Recall that Jesus was crucified at 9 AM (“the third hour”; Mk 15:25) on Friday, most likely either on April 7 of AD 30 or April 3 of AD 33.¹

There were three main phases to his crucifixion:

Phase 1: Before the Darkness

This phase started at 9 AM and ran through 12 PM. During this time, Jesus said the first three words.

1. “Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do.”
2. “Truly, I say to you, today you will be with me in Paradise.”
3. “Woman, here is your son.” “[John], Here is your mother.”

Phase 2: During the Darkness

The second phase started at noon and ran until 3 PM. During this time, God brought darkness over the whole land, which likely symbolized the period during which Jesus was experiencing the wrath of God in the form of abandonment, when he said the fourth word:

• “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?”

Phase 3: After the Darkness

The final phase began at 3 PM, when the darkness lifts, and likely lasts for just a few minutes, when Jesus in fairly rapid succession said the final three words and died.

1. “I thirst.”
2. “It is finished.”
3. “Father, into your hands I commit my spirit.”

So this third word happens during this first phase, somewhere before noon but after the first two words. We don’t know the exact time. But I tend to think it was closer to noon, as Jesus knew his abandonment was drawing near and wanted to make sure his mother would be cared for while he was still in an emotional and physical state to make provision for her.

Textual Context

In addition to the temporal context, there’s also the textual context. That is, how this event fits into John’s retelling of Jesus’ final hours. Each Gospel writer retold the story of Jesus’ final hours from a different angle and perspective. We believe that each told the story accurately and in a way that harmonizes with the others, but we mustn’t miss what each Gospel author wants to call attention to by what they include and the order in which they include it.

Where the first two words are recorded only in Luke, this third word—as well as the fifth and sixth—is recorded only in John’s Gospel. The fourth appears in both Matthew and Mark, and the seventh in Matthew, Mark, and Luke.

Preceding Context

To understand any passage, it’s important to look at what precedes and follows it.

Immediately preceding our passage we see Jesus being crucified by the soldiers, who took his clothes and divided them among themselves.

23 When the soldiers crucified Jesus, they took his clothes, dividing them into four shares, one for each of them, with the undergarment remaining. This garment was seamless, woven in one piece from top to bottom. 24 “Let’s not tear it,” they said to one another. “Let’s decide by lot who will get it.” This happened that the scripture might be fulfilled that said, “They divided my clothes among them and cast lots for my garment.” So this is what the soldiers did.

It’s not easy to see in English in some translations, but in the Greek it’s clear that John was contrasting the soldiers and the women devoted to Jesus.

The Greek conveys the idea that on the one hand [μὲν], these evil, greedy soldiers were selfishly taking advantage of Jesus. But on the other hand [δὲ], there were godly women standing near the cross in love and devotion and sorrow.

Here we see in typical Johannine style two polar opposite responses to Jesus: disbelief and hate on the one hand and belief and love on the other. Those are ultimately the only two responses to Jesus and his cross-work.

Following Context

28 Later [Μετὰ τοῦτο], knowing that everything had now been finished, and so that Scripture would be fulfilled, Jesus said, “I am thirsty.” 29 A jar of wine vinegar was there, so they soaked a sponge in it, put the sponge on a stalk of the hyssop plant, and lifted it to Jesus’ lips. 30 When he had received the drink, Jesus said, “It is finished.” With that, he bowed his head and gave up his spirit.

The following verse (v. 28) reads, “After this [Μετὰ τοῦτο], Jesus, knowing that all was now finished, said (to fulfill the Scripture), ‘I thirst.’”

John moves straight from this third word into the final moments of Jesus’ life, skipping the three hours of darkness and the fourth word entirely.

What does he mean by “all was now finished”? Certainly John didn’t intend to exclude the period of abandonment from what Jesus had now finished. But without access to the other Gospels, his readers would have had the immediate context—our passage—in view. Jesus’ care for his mother was an essential part of the cross-work that he had to finish. This was no unimportant detail included by John haphazardly. This was an essential part of Jesus’ substitutionary life and death.

Characters

So that’s the textual context. Who are the characters in this scene of the story of Jesus’ final hours?

Jesus

Of course, we have Jesus, who is the central character of the story, the passion narratives, the Gospels, the NT, and arguably the Bible.

No doubt Jesus is in intense pain with

• a face stinging from being slapped (Jn 19:3),
• his head stinging and throbbing from the thorns piercing his skin (Mt 27:30; Mk 15:17; Jn 19:2),
• a massive headache from being struck repeatedly in the head with a staff (Mt 27:30; Mk 15:19),
• a raw back from being flogged (Mk 15:15; Jn 19:1),
• excruciating pain in his hands and feet with nails driven through them and bearing the weight of his body (cf. Jn 20:25),
• the feeling of shame while being exposed in front of a crowd in a culture that valued modesty much more than ours (Jn 19:23), and
• the emotional pain of
  • being unjustly treated,
  • being mocked by those who hated him and,
  • abandoned by many who claimed to love him, and
  • the knowledge that he was still to undergo God’s wrath by being abandoned by him.

The Women

After Jesus, we have the women. While studying this passage, two questions surface quickly in all the commentaries:

1. How many women were there?
2. And who were they?

How many women were there?

It might seem obvious on the surface that there were four women, but there’s actually been a lot of ink spilled debating whether there are two, three, or four.

The Greek grammar is slightly unusual, if John intended to convey that there were four women. He includes the conjunction and between the first and second items and between the third and fourth, but strangely not between the second and third.

So there are two pairs rather than a list of four:

• (1) His mother and (2) the sister of his mother [ἡ μήτηρ αὐτοῦ καὶ ἡ ἀδελφὴ τῆς μητρὸς αὐτοῦ]
• (3) Mary [the wife of] Clopas and (4) Mary Magdalene [Μαρία ἡ τοῦ Κλωπᾶ καὶ Μαρία ἡ Μαγδαληνή]

I really wish John had included one more and in there. :)

There are three views on how to read this:

Two Women

The first view is that John lists two women:

The first pair, (1) his mother and (2) the sister of his mother, are renamed in the second pair as (1) Mary the wife of Clopas and (2) Mary Magdalene.

But there are multiple problems with this view:

1. It’s unlikely that two sisters would be given the same first name. There’s no evidence that this was a practice in Jesus’ day. I’ve heard of parents naming their sons with the same names, but reversing the order of first and middle. It’s possible that this could have been through adoption, but that’s just pure speculation. It’s also possible that the second Mary was the sister-in-law of Jesus’ mother, which a second-century source claims—Joseph and Clopas being brothers. But there’s not any evidence for this speculation.
2. If Joseph had died and Mary had remarried, Jesus wouldn’t have entrusted his mother to the care of John, unless her second husband had also died, which seems unlikely.

Three Women

A second view sees three women:

1. His mother
2. The sister of his mother, named as Mary the wife of Clopas
3. Mary Magdalene

But this view is also unlikely. In addition to the two-Marys problem, the parallel passages in Matthew (27:56) and Mark (15:40; cf. 16:1) seem to lend support to the idea that Jesus’ aunt and Mary the wife of Clopas are two different people.

Four Women

The most natural understanding is that John was referring to four women.

1. Jesus’ mother, Mary
2. Jesus’s aunt, his mother’s sister, who is unnamed
3. Mary the wife of Clopas
4. Mary Magdalene

And he left out the middle conjunction to group them into two pairs: the first pair his physical family, who were unnamed, and the second pair part of his spiritual family, who were named.

Also in favor of the view that there were four women is the contrast that John makes between the four soldiers (v. 23) and the women.

But we ultimately can’t be sure, and this isn’t one of the areas where we’re in danger of heresy and false teaching if we get it wrong.

Who were they?

Mary, the mother of Jesus

Mary doesn’t play a prominent role in the Gospels after Jesus’ birth and childhood, as recorded in Matthew 1 and 2 and Luke 1 and 2 (Mt 1:1–2:23; Lk 1:26–2:52).

Outside of these passages and our passage, she’s mentioned only in a handful of places:

1. She’s with Jesus’ brothers wanting to talk to Jesus, with all the synoptics record (Mt 12:46–50; Mk 3:31–32; Lk 8:19–21).
2. She’s mentioned as Jesus’ mother once in each of the Gospels (Mt 13:55; Mk 6:3; Lk 11:27; Jn 6:42).
3. She’s with Jesus at the wedding in Cana (Jn 2:1–12).
4. She’s with the disciples, the women, and Jesus’ brothers praying after Jesus’ ascension (Ac 1:14).
5. And she’s alluded to in Galatians 4:4, where Jesus is said to have been “born of a woman, born under the law, to redeem those under the law, that we might receive adoption to sonship.”

Most of what we know about Mary comes from the stories of Jesus’ birth and childhood. Not much else is said about her after that point apart from a few brief mentions. It’s a wonder that Mary plays such a prominent role in Roman Catholic theology and practice, given her relative absence in the Gospels and early church writings and teaching.

Mary’s sister, Jesus’ aunt

She is mentioned explicitly only here in the NT. We know nothing else about her for certain beside that she’s Mary’s sister and Jesus’ aunt.

Some, however, speculate that she is Salome, the mother of James and John, the sons of Zebedee. They do this on the basis of the parallel accounts in Matthew (27:56) and Mark (15:40; cf. 16:1).

In Mark 15:40 Salome is mentioned as being with Mary Magdalene and Mary the mother of James the younger and Joseph, watching from a distance. Mark doesn’t mention Jesus’ mother. Mary Magdalene is mentioned in both Matthew and John. Some assume that John’s “Mary the wife of Clopas” is to be equated with Mark’s “Mary the mother of James the younger and of Joseph.” If so, that leaves Mark’s Salome to be equated with John’s “the sister of his mother.”

	Matthew	Mark	John
Mary, Jesus’ mother	–	–	his mother
Salome	the mother of Zebedee’s sons	Salome	the sister of his mother
Mary, wife of Clopas	Mary the mother of James and Joseph	Mary the mother of James the younger and of Joseph	Mary the wife of Clopas
Mary Magdalene	Mary Magdalene	Mary Magdalene	Mary Magdalene

In favor of this is the parallel in Matthew 27:56, where “Mary Magdalene” is again mentioned and “Mary the mother of James and Joseph” (instead of Mark’s “James the younger”), and “the mother of Zebedee’s sons,” which if parallel to Mark’s “Salome” would make Salome the wife of Zebedee and the mother of James and John.

But does Mark’s “Mary the mother of James (the younger) and Joseph” parallel John’s “Mary the wife of Clopas”? We don’t know for sure, but if it does, that would seem to favor the view that Matthew’s “the mother of Zebedee’s sons” and Mark’s “Salome” is John’s “the sister of his mother.”

If all three accounts are parallel, this would make John the cousin of Jesus and the nephew of Mary, which some thing explains by Jesus’s mother, aunt, and cousins John and James aren’t mentioned by name.

It also makes it easier to understand how Jesus entrusts Mary to John, her nephew and his cousin. More on that in a moment.

But we can’t be sure, since the Bible never explicitly makes this connection, and Mark says, “Many other women who had come up with him to Jerusalem were also there” (15:41). The Gospel writers don’t necessarily mention the same people in their accounts.

In favor of this skepticism is the fact that in John they’re standing “near the cross” (παρὰ τῷ σταυρῷ), while in Matthew and Mark, they’re “watching from a distance” (ἀπὸ μακρόθεν θεωροῦσαι). This isn’t a contradiction. Recall that the crucifixion was longer than six hours, and people likely would have moved around during that time, perhaps assembling in different groups.

Mary the wife of Clopas

The same is true for Mary the wife of Clopas. There are no clear mentions of her anywhere else in the NT. But as we saw previously, if the parallels describe the same time and the same group of women at the cross, then John’s “Mary the wife of Clopas” is to be identified with Matthew’s “Mary the mother of James the younger and of Joseph” and Mark’s “Mary the mother of James (the younger) and Joseph.”

If that association is true, then we see her with Mary Magdalene at Jesus tomb (Mt 27:61; 28:1) “looking for Jesus” (28:5) and talking to the angel.

Mary Magdalene

Mary Magdalene is first mentioned in the Gospels at the crucifixion of Jesus (Mt 27:56, 61; Mk 15:40–41, 47; Jn 19:25) with the one exception of Luke, which includes her as one of the women who were traveling with apostles and had been cured of evil spirits and diseases (8:1–3). Mary had formerly had seven demons come out of her. She plays a central role in the resurrection story (Mt 28: 1–8, 11; Mk 16:1–11; Lk 24:10–12; Jn 20:1–18). Outside of that, we know very little about her.

– – – – – – – – – – – – – –

We don’t know much about these women—especially the second and third—but the text suggests that they’re all believers in Jesus who are at the cross out of love, devotion, and compassion. The parallels in Matthew and Mark tell us “these women had followed him and cared for his needs” (Mk 15:41; Mt 27:55), and Luke fills in the detail that some of “these women were helping to support [Jesus and his disciples] out of their own means” (8:3). Their faith and love is also demonstrated by bringing “spices [to the tomb] so that they might go to anoint Jesus’ body” (Mk 16:1) and running and joyfully reporting to the apostles that Jesus was alive ( Mt 28:8; Lk 24:10).

It’s worth noting that role these women played in serving Christ. It is women, not men, whom the Gospel writers call attention to. Anyone who says the Bible doesn’t give women a place of prominence isn’t reading it carefully. There is a great need for the unique role of women in the work of the gospel.

The Beloved Disciple

Next we come to “the disciple whom Jesus loved.”

There is general consensus among conservative interpreters that this beloved disciple [τὸν μαθητὴν . . . ὃν ἠγάπα] is John, son of Zebedee, brother of James, one of the sons of thunder, apostle of Jesus, the apostle of love, and author of this Gospel, three letters, and the Revelation—and perhaps the cousin of Jesus through Salome, wife of Clopas, sister of Mary.²

For the sake of time, I’m going to assume rather than argue for this identification of the beloved disciple as John of Zebedee.

Minority views associate the beloved disciple with Lazarus, Thomas, or Mary Magdalene, none of which has real merit.³

But Scripture doesn’t clarity reveal his identity. Some argue that identifying him missing the point.⁴

We know that the beloved disciple is the author of the Gospel of John:

John 21:20, 24: 20 Peter turned and saw that the disciple whom Jesus loved [] was following them. (This was the one who had leaned back against Jesus at the supper and had said, “Lord, who is going to betray you?”) . . . 24 This is the disciple who testifies to these things and who wrote them down. We know that his testimony is true.

And tradition holds that the John who wrote the Gospel according to John is the son of Zebedee.

John refers to himself as the disciple whom Jesus loves in several places:

John 13:22–25: 22 His disciples stared at one another, at a loss to know which of them he meant. 23 One of them, the disciple whom Jesus loved [ὃν ἠγάπα ὁ Ἰησοῦς], was reclining next to him. 24 Simon Peter motioned to this disciple and said, “Ask him which one he means.” 25 Leaning back against Jesus, he asked him, “Lord, who is it?”

John 20:1–2: 1 Early on the first day of the week, while it was still dark, Mary Magdalene went to the tomb and saw that the stone had been removed from the entrance. 2 So she came running to Simon Peter and the other disciple, the one Jesus loved, [ὃν ἐφίλει ὁ Ἰησοῦς] and said, “They have taken the Lord out of the tomb, and we don’t know where they have put him!”

John 21:7: Then the disciple whom Jesus loved [ὁ μαθητὴς ἐκεῖνος ὃν ἠγάπα ὁ Ἰησοῦς] said to Peter, “It is the Lord!” As soon as Simon Peter heard him say, “It is the Lord,” he wrapped his outer garment around him (for he had taken it off) and jumped into the water.

John 21:20: Peter turned and saw that the disciple whom Jesus loved [τὸν μαθητὴν ὃν ἠγάπα ὁ Ἰησοῦς] was following them. (This was the one who had leaned back against Jesus at the supper and had said, “Lord, who is going to betray you?”)

In addition to these five references to the beloved disciple, there are five other references to the “other disciple” in two passages, which most identify as the same person based on John 20:2.

John 18:15–16: 15 Simon Peter and another disciple [ἄλλος μαθητής] were following Jesus. Because this disciple [μαθητὴς ἐκεῖνος] was known to the high priest, he went with Jesus into the high priest’s courtyard, 16 but Peter had to wait outside at the door. The other disciple [ὁ μαθητὴς ὁ ἄλλος], who was known to the high priest, came back, spoke to the servant girl on duty there and brought Peter in.

John 20:2–4, 8: 2 So she came running to Simon Peter and the other disciple [τὸν ἄλλον μαθητὴν], the one Jesus loved [ὃν ἐφίλει ὁ Ἰησοῦς], and said, “They have taken the Lord out of the tomb, and we don’t know where they have put him!” 3 So Peter and the other disciple [ὁ ἄλλος μαθητής] started for the tomb. 4 Both were running, but the other disciple [ὁ ἄλλος μαθητής] outran Peter and reached the tomb first. . . . 8 Finally the other disciple [ὁ ἄλλος μαθητής], who had reached the tomb first, also went inside. He saw and believed.

Surprisingly, not a single mention of the “other disciple” or the beloved disciple has a clear parallel in Matthew, Mark, or Luke that would confirm his identity.

Even if we can’t be 100% sure, we can safely identify the beloved disciple with John for several reasons:⁵

1. John was one of Jesus’ three closest disciples and enjoyed special privilege and a special kind of love⁶ that would be fitting for one called the beloved disciple.⁷
   1. We know it wasn’t Peter, because Peter appears often with the beloved disciple.
   2. It’s unlikely to have been James, since James died in AD 44 (Acts 12:2), before the fourth Gospel was written (and we know that the fourth Gospel was written by the beloved disciple [Jn 21:20, 24]).
   3. If the beloved disciple was one of Jesus’ inner circle, it had to have been John.
2. If John was not the beloved and other disciple, he’d be entirely absent from the fourth Gospel. He’s mentioned 20 times in the other three Gospels, so this would be a strange omission.
3. Matthew, Mark, and Luke all refer to the inner circle of Peter, James, and John. Only John’s Gospel doesn’t mention the three by name as a group, which may suggest that one of them was the author of the fourth Gospel.⁸
4. It seems that we must identify him as one of the disciples mentioned in John 21:2: Simon Peter, Thomas (also known as Didymus), Nathanael from Cana in Galilee, the sons of Zebedee, and two other disciples were together.” He can’t be Peter, since Peter is mentioned alongside him. So we know that John is at least a possibility.
5. Tradition quickly associated John with the fourth Gospel, and there was no dispute over that association.⁹

Part 2: Event

25 Near the cross of Jesus stood his mother, his mother’s sister, Mary the wife of Clopas, and Mary Magdalene. 26 When Jesus saw his mother there, and the disciple whom he loved standing nearby, he said to her, “Woman, here is your son [γύναι, ἴδε ὁ υἱός σου],” 27 and to the disciple, “Here is your mother [ἴδε ἡ μήτηρ σου].” From that time on, this disciple took her into his home.

Having this context and setting in mind, let’s look briefly, now, at the text itself.

These four women—three Marys and Mary’s sister, perhaps Salome—were standing near the cross, and Jesus saw his mother and the beloved disciple, John, the son of Zebedee.

The Word to Mary

“Woman, here is your son [γύναι, ἴδε ὁ υἱός σου] . . .”

To modern English speakers, it might seem rude or disrespectful that Jesus called his mother woman. To call a woman woman is derogatory in our culture. But that wasn’t the case in Jesus’ day. By calling his mother women, Jesus intends no disrespect. To the contrary, Jesus used woman as a term of endearment and respect. For this reason the several translations¹⁰ render it “Dear woman,” “Dear lady,”¹¹ or “Mother,”¹² all of which capture the sense of the Greek better for our modern English ears.

He also called Mary woman at the wedding in Cana (Jn 2:4).¹³ And while this may have been a mild rebuke, it’s still an expression of respect.¹⁴

Jesus tells his mother to consider John as her son, that John would now assume the role that Jesus had most likely be playing for her as provider and protector in Joseph’s absence.

The Word to John

“Here is your mother [ἴδε ἡ μήτηρ σου].”

Then he addresses John and instructs him to treat Mary as his own mother.

The Meaning

Interpreters disagree what each of these statements means. Roman Catholic interpreters see Jesus putting John, who was representative of the church, under the care of Mary, the mother of the church. But there’s no such indication in the text itself. This is reading theology from centuries later back into the text.

The Response

To the contrary, the responses of Mary and John as recorded in v. 27 make clear what Jesus was communicating:

From that time on, this disciple took her into his home.

John was the leader and caregiver and provider, and Mary was the follower and recipient of care and provision.

To his mother Jesus was giving care not responsibility. To John he was giving responsibility not care.

Jesus was seeing to it that Mary would be provided for after his departure.

Part 3: Purpose

Now let’s transition into the question of why this is recorded in Scripture.

God moved John—and only John—to record this story for a reason. It’s easy to think that this word of Christ doesn’t have as much theological significance as the others. On the surface it doesn’t seem to.

The other sayings have pretty clear theological meaning.

But what of this third word?

Is this merely evidence of the humanity of Jesus, who had human cares and feelings? I don’t think so. Jesus in his divinity cares more for human needs and feelings than we do.

Is this just a more mundane saying about Jesus’ love for his mother?

Not every statement in Scripture has the same significance. There is a risk that we find more in this saying than John or Jesus or the Spirit intended to communicate. Finding meaning when it’s not there is wrong, even if it’s true.

Certainly there is a point here about Jesus’ love and care for his mother, Mary.

But if all we see here is a statement about the importance of caring for our family, we’re missing a deeper meaning the divine and human authors intended.

As I’ve meditated on this passage over the last couple of months, I’ve come to see in these words a rich, multifaceted portrait of Jesus.

I’d like us to mediate briefly in our time remaining on this threefold portrait of Jesus.

Christ Our Example / Sanctification

The first aspect of this threefold portrait that I’d like us to see is that Jesus modeled obedience and righteousness for us. He is set forth as our perfect, righteous example to follow in our pursuit of sanctification.

Jesus, the last Adam, unlike the first, modeled for us what perfect humanity looks like and is our pattern for living life in this fallen world.

Jesus’ Example of Obeying His Father

Jesus is first and foremost keeping the commandments of God and honoring his heavenly Father, and he does that in this case by honoring his earthly mother.

Recall that John seems to present this as one of the things that Jesus needed to fulfill before his cross-work was finished: “everything had now been finished” (v. 28). Jesus had in view above all things fulfilling the will of his heavenly Father—even in this care for his mother. This was an essential part of the mission he’d be sent by his Father to fulfill.

Jesus’ Example of Honoring His Mother

He obey his Father in this instance by honoring his mother and fulfilling the fifth commandment as recorded in Exodus 20 and Deuteronomy 5.

Exodus 20:12: “Honor your father and your mother, so that you may live long in the land the Lord your God is giving you.

Deuteronomy 5:16: “Honor your father and your mother, as the Lord your God has commanded you, so that you may live long and that it may go well with you in the land the Lord your God is giving you.

This was a commandment he obeyed throughout his life, and one that he taught to others.¹⁵

1. He reminded the rich young ruler of the importance of honoring one’s parents (Mt 19:18–19; Mk 10:19; Lk 18:20).
2. He also rebuked the Pharisees and Scribes for failing to honoring their parents (Mt 15:3–9; Mk 7:9–13).

Recall that Jesus is in his early thirties. We typically talk about obeying and honoring parents as the responsibilities of children and teens. Jesus was a grown man. So was the rich young ruler. So were the Pharisees and Scribes.

While it’s certainly fitting for those who still live under the care of their parents to find application for their lives in the example of Jesus, the most direct application is for those of us who are older and have parents in the last phases of life.

Jesus provides for us an example of caring and making provision for our aging parents. Do you have an aging mother or father in need of care? Is it God’s will for you to provide that care? We would do well to spend time thinking and praying about the implications of this text for us in our own families.

Jesus’ Example of in Suffering

I’d be remiss not to remind us of when Jesus was keeping his Father’s commands and honoring his mother: he did this during a time of deep suffering.

He modeled this obedience not just in the easy times of life—as if any of Jesus’ life was easy—but in the hardest and darkest times of life, even as he suffered beyond what any of us can imagine.

There was perhaps no harder to remain sinless than in these hours of unimaginable physical, emotional, and mental suffering.

And yet—here we see our compassionate Savior, who in his deep suffering was concerned for his mother and her far lesser suffering. Recall that Simeon had prophesied to Mary, “A sword will pierce your own soul too” (Lk 2:35). Mary no doubt was experiencing great emotional anguish, as any mother would, but no doubt even heightened emotional anguish as she knew Jesus not only as her son, but as her Savior.

Here we see Jesus counting others above himself and looking not on his own interests, but on the interests of others (Phil 2:3–4)—even in his hour of greatest suffer.

What a compassionate Savior we have.

Oh that we would experience and relish his compassion.

Oh that we could become more like him.

Having seen Christ our example, let’s now consider Christ our righteousness.

Christ Our Righteousness / Justification

This second aspect of Christ might be easy to miss, but it’s critical that we don’t gloss over it.

Jesus wasn’t just obeying to set us an example of what righteous living looks like and inviting us to follow him. He was also becoming righteousness for us by keeping God’s commandments as our substitute, all the way until his final breath.

Christians often think of the cross as being just about Jesus’ passive obedience. By the way, passive in this context doesn’t mean what we typically think of when we used that word: not active. It refers to Jesus’ passion or suffering. Jesus’ passive obedience is his suffering obedience whereby he fully absorbed God’s wrath as the penalty for our sin.

But we mustn’t miss Jesus’ active obedience. He was keeping his Father’s commands even into his final hour, not just to model how we should live in times of suffering, but to earn for us a perfect, righteous standing before God, since we will never perfectly obey God in our suffering—or even when we’re not suffering.

Not only was Jesus bearing the wrath of God for all of the sinful acts of parent-dishonoring committed by all his believing people from all ages, but he was also fully keeping God’s requirements to honor one’s parents on our behalf. And he did this so that God might be just in crediting to our accounts perfect obedience of the fifth commandment. He was simultaneously both bearing the penalty for our failing to honor our parents and fulfilling God’s requirement that we honor our parents, removing the penalty and earning the reward.

Up until his last breath, Jesus had his mission, his Father’s will, at the forefront of all that he did. Even in his darkest hour, he is resolute in his commitment to his Father’s glory and our salvation and good. What a Savior who didn’t waver in fulfilling all God’s will not just by taking the penalty for our sin but by earning for us that perfect standing of righteousness, apart from which we’d be utterly lost.

What a Savior: Christ our righteousness (1 Co 1:30).

Finally, let’s consider Christ our brother.

Christ Our Brother / Adoption

The third aspect of Christ we see in this threefold portrait of our Savior is Christ as our brother. Here we see an emphasis on our adoption into the family of God.

Let me explain why I think this is actually in the text and not just a nice point forced on the text to make a good sermon.

Have you ever wondered why Jesus committed Mary into the care of John?

Where was Mary’s husband, Joseph? Certainly he would have cared for Mary, right? Though the Bible doesn’t say for sure, most think that Joseph is no longer living.

Little is said of Joseph after the story of Jesus’ birth and early years (Mt 1:1–2:23; Lk 1:26–2:52). He’s mentioned elsewhere just in passing as the father of Jesus:

• in Matthew 13:55 (where Jesus is called the “son of the carpenter”),
• Luke 3:23 (where Jesus is called “the son, so it was thought [ὡς ἐνομίζετο], of Joseph”),
• Luke 3:23 (where Jesus is called Joseph’s son),
• John 1:44 (“Jesus of Nazareth, the son of Joseph”), and
• John 6:42 (“Is this not Jesus, the son of Joseph, whose father and mother we know?), but only in reference to Jesus as the son of Joseph.

John 6:42 suggests that Joseph may have still been alive (not the present tense “we know” [ἡμεῖς οἴδαμεν]). But Mark 6:3, a parallel passage to Matthew 13:55, notably leaves Joseph out.

If Joseph was dead, then Jesus as Mary’s oldest son would have been responsible for caring and providing for her.

But why didn’t Jesus entrust Mary to one of his brothers?

Who were Jesus brothers? The Bible tells us about four brothers: James, Joseph, Simon, and Judas. We know very little about Joseph and Simon. They’re mentioned only in two passages that list his brothers by name (Mt 13:55; Mk 6:3). We know more about James and Judas.

1. James is the likely the author of the letter of James and a leader of the Jewish believers in Jerusalem as mentioned in Acts 12:17 and Acts 15:13, 21:18. Paul met James (Acts 21:18; Gal 1:19; 2:9, 12).
2. Judas is likely the author of the letter of Jude. He introduces himself as the servant of Jesus and the brother of James.

So why didn’t Jesus entrust Mary to one of his brothers?

We know from John 7:5 that his brothers didn’t believe in him (“For even his own brothers did not believe in him”). But we know by Acts 1:14 they do (“All these [disciples] with one accord were devoting themselves to prayer, together with the women and Mary the mother of Jesus, and his brothers”). It seems that God used the crucifixion, resurrection, post-resurrection appearances, and accession to awaken faith in their hearts.

Why did Jesus not commit Mary into the care of one of his sisters?

Who were his sisters? They’re mentioned only two or three times in the Bible. Matthew 13:56 (“all his sisters” / αἱ ἀδελφαὶ αὐτοῦ . . . πᾶσαι) and Mark 6:3 (“his sisters” / αἱ ἀδελφαὶ αὐτοῦ) are the clear examples. There’s a textual variant on Mark 3:32 that includes “and his sisters” (καὶ αἱ ἀδελφαί σου), which is almost certainly a later scribal addition.

Why didn’t Jesus entrust Mary to one of his sisters? We don’t know enough about them to say. Some possibilities: (1) they weren’t believers, (2) they were no longer living, (3) it wasn’t customary for a woman to live with her daughters. But those are all just speculations.¹⁶

We’re not told exactly why Mary wouldn’t be cared for by her children, but regardless of the exact reasons there’s an important point here for us that we mustn’t miss.

It seems that by entrusting Mary into John’s care that Jesus is again reinforcing the message about the primacy of the spiritual family of God, building on what he said earlier in his ministry.

While Jesus clearly believes in the importance of physical family, as he demonstrates by caring for his mother, he places a primacy on being part of God’s spiritual family.

This theme is all throughout the teaching of Jesus:

Matthew 12:46–50: 46 While Jesus was still talking to the crowd, his mother and brothers stood outside, wanting to speak to him. 47 Someone told him, “Your mother and brothers are standing outside, wanting to speak to you.” 48 He replied to him, “Who is my mother, and who are my brothers?” 49 Pointing to his disciples, he said, “Here are my mother and my brothers. 50 For whoever does the will of my Father in heaven is my brother and sister and mother.”

Mark 3:31–35: 31 Then Jesus’ mother and brothers arrived. Standing outside, they sent someone in to call him. 32 A crowd was sitting around him, and they told him, “Your mother and brothers are outside looking for you.” 33 “Who are my mother and my brothers?” he asked. 34 Then he looked at those seated in a circle around him and said, “Here are my mother and my brothers! 35 Whoever does God’s will is my brother and sister and mother.”

Luke 8:19–21: 19 Now Jesus’ mother and brothers came to see him, but they were not able to get near him because of the crowd. 20 Someone told him, “Your mother and brothers are standing outside, wanting to see you.” 21 He replied, “My mother and brothers are those who hear God’s word and put it into practice.”

Matthew 25:40: “The King will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.’

Luke 11:27–28: 27 As Jesus was saying these things, a woman in the crowd called out, “Blessed is the mother who gave you birth and nursed you.” 28 He replied, “Blessed rather are those who hear the word of God and obey it.”

He continues this theme after his resurrection:

Matthew 28:8–10: 8 So the women hurried away from the tomb, afraid yet filled with joy, and ran to tell his disciples. 9 Suddenly Jesus met them. “Greetings,” he said. They came to him, clasped his feet and worshiped him. 10 Then Jesus said to them, “Do not be afraid. Go and tell my brothers to go to Galilee; there they will see me.”

John 20:17–18: 17 Jesus said, “Do not hold on to me, for I have not yet ascended to the Father. Go instead to my brothers and tell them, ‘I am ascending to my Father and your Father, to my God and your God.’ ” 18 Mary Magdalene went to the disciples with the news: “I have seen the Lord!” And she told them that he had said these things to her.

Paul and the other NT authors continue this same theme:

Romans 8:29: For those God foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brothers and sisters.

There is a twofold application for us here:

1. First, as part of Jesus’ spiritual family, we are recipients of this same compassionate care of the Savior as Mary. Let us not forget that we are in a family relationship with Jesus that is deeper and stronger than any physical family relationship we experience here on earth.
2. Second, we are called to live as members of this spiritual family and provide for our brothers and sisters.

And these two go together: one of the ways Jesus cares for us is through the this spiritual family we’re all a part of.

As John Piper puts it, “the new relationship between Mary and John illustrates for us the provision made for us in the body of Christ.”¹⁷

He goes on to say, “That was not a depreciation of his mother and brothers, but an exaltation of obedience. It means very clearly, those who hear the Word of God and do it have a more ready access to Jesus’ fellowship and help than do his own family members.”¹⁸

And, “Loving obedience to the Word of God puts us in a relationship to Jesus which is more intimate and more certain to be heard and helped than his nearest family relations.”¹⁹

Another commentator says, “In Christ’s greater family, the church, fellow believers may be more of a family to us than our blood relatives.”²⁰

But what if John was Jesus’ cousin and Mary’s nephew? I don’t think that invalidates this point. Jesus is still prioritizing a spiritual relationship over a physical relationship by entrusting Mary to the believing John instead of her unbelieving brothers.

While we mustn’t neglect our responsibility to care for our physical family, as Jesus demonstrated for us. We also mustn’t neglect to care for our spiritual family, which is in some respects more important than physical family alone.

How are you doing as living as part of the family of believers? Who around you might need your care and provision?

Conclusion

What a glorious Savior, who is our example, our righteousness, and our brother. Let us follow in his steps, rest in his merit, and live in his family.

Closing Prayer

Father, thank you for including this text in the Bible for us. Thank you for what it reveals to us about our Savior. Thank you for how it sets forth Jesus as our example to follow in honoring our parents, but also as our perfect righteousness since we know we’ll fail to honor them perfectly. And thank you for what it teaches us about the primacy of the spiritual family of God. Guide each of us to live more fully as brothers and sisters with each other and our Savior. In his glorious name we pray. Amen.

Notes

1. “7 Clues Tell Us *Precisely* When Jesus Died (the Year, Month, Day, and Hour Revealed)”; “In What Year Did Jesus Die?” ↩

2. There is an interesting parallel between John’s anonymity in the fourth Gospel and Paul’s anonymity when talking about his vision of the third heaven. ↩

3. John 11:3 refers to Lazarus as “the one [Jesus] loves,” and v. 5 says that Jesus loved Martha, Mary, and Lazarus, and in v. 36 the Jews comment on how Jesus loved Lazarus after he wept. But that’s pretty flimsy evidence and doesn’t explain the association between the author of the Gospel and its name as “according to John.” Mary Magdalene is certainly not an option, since she appears alongside the beloved disciple in our text and elsewhere. ↩

4. “Who Was the Beloved Disciple?” ↩

5. “Who Was the Disciple Whom Jesus Loved?” ↩

6. I’m thinking of a passage that talks about degrees of love God has for his children, but I can’t find it. ↩

7. Mt 17:1; 26:37–38; Mk 5:37; 9:2; 14:33; Lk 8:51; 9:28; cf. Mt 10:2; Lk 6:14, where they are listed at the front of the list of apostles, and Mk 13:3; Lk 5:10; Ac 1:13, where now John is listed before James. ↩

8. Jn 21:2 is the closest example, which has Simon Peter, Thomas, Nathaniel, the sons of Zebedee, and two other disciples together. ↩

9. Eusebius records a letter by Polycrates of Ephesus (~130–196), where he identified John of Zebedee as the whoe who reclined upon the bosom of the Lord” (“NPNF2-01. Eusebius Pamphilius: Church History, Life of Constantine, Oration in Praise of Constantine – Christian Classics Ethereal Library”. ccel.org.) Afterwards, John, the disciple of the Lord, who also had leaned upon His breast, did himself publish a Gospel during his residence at Ephesus in Asia.—Against Heresies, Book 3, Chapter 1. https://christianity.stackexchange.com/questions/2183/when-and-how-did-the-names-matthew-mark-luke-and-john-get-attached-to-the-gos ↩

10. NLT, NCV, NIrV, AMP, and NIV84. ↩

11. ISV. ↩

12. BBE, CJB, NEB, REB. ↩

13. Found with a search in Logos for (woman INTERSECTS <Person Mary (mother of Jesus)> INTERSECTS @NV???) WITHIN {Speaker <Person Jesus>}. ↩

14. He called four other women woman: a Canaanite woman with a demon-possessed daughter (Mt 15:28), a crippled woman (Lk 13:12), the Samaritan woman at the well (Jn 4:21), and Mary Magdalene (Jn 20:15). Found with a search in Logos for (woman NOT INTERSECTS <Person Mary (mother of Jesus)> INTERSECTS @NV???) WITHIN {Speaker <Person Jesus>}. ↩

15. Paul continues to teach this command both directly in Eph 6:1 and Col 3:20 and indirectly in 1 Timothy 5:8: “Anyone who does not provide for their relatives, and especially for their own household, has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.” ↩

16. Roman Catholic interpreters hold that Mary never had sexual relations with Joseph and never had any children besides Jesus. These brothers and sisters were actually his cousins. Orthodox interpreters hold that they were all Joseph’s children from a previous marriage. “Some apocryphal works, such as the Protoevangelium of James, the Gospel of Peter, and the Infancy Gospel of Thomas, all seem to indicate a tradition of belief that Jesus’ brothers and sisters were the children of Joseph.” Source. ↩

17. John Piper, “The Third Word from the Cross,” Sermons from John Piper (1980–1989) (Minneapolis, MN: Desiring God, 2007). ↩

18. Ibid. ↩

19. Ibid. ↩

20. Bruce B. Barton, John, Life Application Bible Commentary (Wheaton, IL: Tyndale House, 1993), 379. ↩